DCU

DONK Cinematic Universe

The DONK Cinematic Universe (DCU) refers to DONK Co's poorly written TV specials. The shows within this fictional universe all contain subliminal anti-capitalist messages and often promote products from various companies with Syndicate associations.

The Brothers DONK is the crown jewel in their proverbial chest of plastic gems. This show often contains novel Waffle Co inventions or schemes. All Central Command Intelligence Division agents are expected to watch episodes as they air. This mandate has been met with mixed levels of enthusiasm. Intel leaks have slowed as Waffle Co became aware of the obvious information leak, however DONK is far better at searching out confidential information than they are at coming up with original content.

Brothers DONK Pilot Episode Script

The Brothers Donk - Episode 1: “Donk to the Rescue!”

[INTRO] “When chaos strikes and hope is gone, Two bros appear — with snacks from Donk! They’re stretchy, strong, and kinda dumb, The Brothers Donk — heroism with sodium!”

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[SCENE 1 – SPACE STATION 14 FOOD COURT]

Wide shot: a decrepit food court flickers under malfunctioning lights. Vending machines spark. A janitor is passed out face-first in noodles.

BROCK DONK (big, enthusiastic, kinda clueless): “Alright, Brick, lunchtime! I scored us the finest cuisine credits can buy!”

BRICK DONK (shorter, grumpy, conspiracy theorist vibes): “Corporate sludge again? You know these Donk Pockets are just compressed biomass, right?”

BROCK: “Yeah, but it’s delicious biomass!”

They each open a steaming Donk Pocket. Brock’s is “Mystery Meat Mayhem.” Brick’s is “Spicy Blaster Jalapeño Surprise.”

SFX: Magical shimmer. Both brothers GLOW briefly — eyes bulge, muscles pulse, uniforms rip slightly.

BROCK: “…Whoa. I feel… heroic.”

BRICK: “…I feel like punching a CEO.”

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[SCENE 2 – COMMAND ANNOUNCEMENT CHANNEL]

BZZZT. A grainy video of the HEAD OF CARGONOMICS CORP appears on every screen. He’s a weaselly, smirking executive in a too-tight suit.

CEO SNIFFSLEY: “Attention crewmembers! Effective immediately, your oxygen rations will be tied to productivity. Breathe responsibly!”

CREW (offscreen): “What?!”

SFX: Riots breaking out in the background. Someone throws a mop.

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[SCENE 3 – BROTHERS DONK, SUITED UP]

The brothers now wear makeshift hero costumes — capes made of napkins, Donk logos drawn in ketchup.

BROCK: “It’s hero time!”

BRICK (cracking knuckles): “Let’s go liberate some lungs.”

⸻ [SCENE 4 – HALLWAY BATTLE]

They storm into a Cargonomics outpost on the station. A SENTRY BOT rolls forward.

SENTRY BOT: “Unauthorized resistance detected. Please comply, or be productively recycled.”

BROCK: “Time to microwave some metal!”

He launches a frozen Donk Pocket into the bot’s eye — it EXPLODES.

BRICK (yelling): “Eat sodium, oppressor!”

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[SCENE 5 – CEO’S OFFICE]

They crash into Sniffsley’s office. He’s watching propaganda ads for his own company.

CEO SNIFFSLEY: “Security! Get these— these snack-fueled anarchists out of here!”

BROCK: “Your snack-funded tyranny ends today!”

BRICK: “Time for a hostile flavor takeover.”

They YEET Sniffsley out the airlock — but it’s into a trash barge, not space. He lands in a pile of expired Donk Pockets.

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[SCENE 6 – HEROES’ EXIT]

The brothers walk through a cheering food court. Someone hands them a medal made from a bent spoon.

BROCK: “I guess with great flavor… comes great responsibility.”

BRICK: “Let’s never trust a CEO who doesn’t eat his own product.”

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THE BROTHERS DONK “Tune in next time, when the Donk Bros battle a space accountant with a tax laser!”